I Miss The Old Me
I miss the old me.
Not the "childish, angsty" me.
I miss the creative, experimental me.
I love painting. I love the paints, the paintbrushes, the canvases. I love taking time out of my day to be alone and focus on what I'm creating for that day.
But I don't do it anymore. I threw away my old supplies. Not because I've come to hate it, but because I've come to fear it. That fear led to discouragement.
I fear of that blank canvas, of needing to create a "perfect piece". I'm led to believe that I'm not good to paint if I can't create one. Which is a sucky mindset.
You don't need to be perfect to create. You creating is the value of art.
I started to compare myself in seeing on how so many artists have perfected social medias. Their artwork is so clean, so detailed. It looks so good. I can't do that anymore.
Or more like I don't practice it anymore.
Art, in any form, is a skill that can be built. Plus, I didn't paint because I was perfect. I painted because I enjoyed doing it. I love learning different techniques to create different visuals. I love the feeling of the paintbrush moving across the canvas. I love seeing the paint lay down.
I plan to come back to it. Buy my supplies again. And enjoy it.
No social media, just enjoyment.
For funsies, this was one of my paintings from back then that I was really proud of.