The Semester Long Gone
I'm nearing the end of my last semester for my Associate's Degree. It's only been 2 years, but including my "failed" 3 years at university it's been so long. This semester went by so fast and yet graduation can't come any sooner.
It came to me out of nowhere, thinking about what I've done for the past 4 semesters, 5 if you include pre-requisites. My head keeps thinking that there's more to this. That I'm not done yet. Technically I'm not because I plan to work towards my Bachelor's at one point. But considering that I've never really worked, this is a big step for me.
I consider success for me is to work. To have a big person job and earn salaries. That's how I'll know that I've finally made it. Not the degree itself, but being hired. People will see me lucky of not needing to ever work as a teenager or while still in school, I know that. But I also don't want to knock myself down as I've worked for this.
The late night studying, the anxieties, the constant crying. All that soon to be worth it once I start my new career.
But at the same time, what exactly is the point? Many people have their degrees, higher degrees in fact, and get jobs. What value does mine add? It hurts to have that thought honestly. This is something that I've been wanting for a while and yet I'm beating myself on that average dream.
Is it in the idea of the difficulty of job hunting nowadays? That our economy is slowly dying? I've heard someone mention that when we were kids, we were promised that if we get our education we can get a job. But now, it feels impossible.
Because honestly, my dream has now become average or maybe even below. Many jobs now require a master's degree and years of experience in which I don't have that.
The semester is ending, a new chapter is opening, and I'm here fearing for my dream.